i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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