why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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