HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
