i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
