wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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