it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
