Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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