Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
