she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I wish there were birth control emojis
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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