There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
