It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize