maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
