i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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