This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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