; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
