saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
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