So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
