Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
