you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
