I think my vagina is haunted
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
