try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
