is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
