i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
