I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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