i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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