this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
