Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
