you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
