You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
