My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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