You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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