She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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