A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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