hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize
