He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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