are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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