What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
