I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
She needs sedatives and a leash
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize