At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How naked do you want me to be?
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