this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
