whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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