god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm experimenting with sincerity
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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