p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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