Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
