I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I am midnight drunk by noon
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
