you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
