Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
