You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
