at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Randomize
