hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
