UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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