This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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