i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
