Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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