Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize
