that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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