the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
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