What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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