nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
