There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
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