A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize