bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
the day after is always just damage control
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
