she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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