does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
