she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
