I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
it's like heaven, but drunker
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize