Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
