Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
