DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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