I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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