Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
